Falling On

It is sometimes so very hard to live on this planet.

I feel I came here to be an agent of relief, helping others through their suffering. Angel? Maybe. Helper at the very least. However, before you can help someone on a deep level, you have to understand them. To truly understand pain and suffering, you have to experience it. I have.

I've been humiliated, cried, lost, fell, failed, been lied to, cheated, slapped, punched, kicked, subjugated, hurt, torn, broken, disrespected, hungry, thirsty, angry, abused, depressed, and lost. When I reach out to others I rarely say "I know what you are going through" nor do I often say "I know how that feels". Even though I most certainly do.

It can be extremely difficult to touch some one's pain without letting yourself be overwhelmed by those pains all over again. You have to feel them to show empathy, but how much you embrace is a line you must draw to stay on the strong side of emotions. Some people believe that counselors, and therapists draw that line dark & thick and always see it very clearly. I believe the line by its nature is light & fluid and can be crossed in a heartbeat. It is not a switch you can simply turn off. When the helping is all done, you take the pain with you. You process it as work, duty, or sacrifice to help others but sometimes it stays with you.

It's that one sad song you just cant stop playing, that sad movie that brings tears to your eyes every time, or that memory that rips you apart every time no matter how many times you say you have worked through it. These are the keys to your deepest pain, to the place where you truly understand what it means to hurt.

Sometimes we stay there too long. It comes a time when you need a shoulder to cry on. You feel like no one can help you because you have the world on your shoulders, and you must be strong enough to overcome your trials alone. It is during these times when it seems like living on this planet is a mistake, inside you are screaming in emotional agony. Now is when you must keep it all in perspective, after all there is no pain in the world that others have not suffered through before. Reach out.

Find your release. Write to your heart's content about what you are going through knowing that there is an opening at the other end. Listen to music that frees your soul from those painful memories. Turn to that special someone who knows how to ease your troubled mind. Cry if you must, but let it be a cleansing cry to shed some of the pain, not a cry that drags you down. If you were called to this place to help others, do it with compassion and sincerity. Just never let the emotions get the best of you.

Stay true to your mission and embrace the other wondrous feelings that surround you. Continue to bring joy, laughter, happiness, smiles, love, caring, comfort, support, positivity, and light to everyone you encounter. You will find it returned to you in amounts you cannot contain!

CJ